Ranting
by:Dolomite
Welcome back to another Ranting, oh followers of the demigod called Dolomite. This particular Ranting will be on the broad topic known as irony. I remember the ays when irony used to be confined to fiction and soap operas (soap operas are so beyondmere fiction that they must be considered a separate entity). In today's world, irony is spilling over from the literary and television worlds and onto the real world like an oil spill from the Valdez. Ironic situations are appearing quicker than Starbucks and Planet Hollywoods combined.
Take a look at America itself, homeland of irony. We are notoriousfor being slobs, idiots, and jerks. Many nations prefer the French over us. What do we do to these spiteful countries? Do we bomb their asses back to the Stone Age? Do we send them naked pictures of Bill and Monica with attached note "Our leader and his intern. And we are still better than you. Hahahaha." ? No, we simply send them a check to help them with their "staggering economy" with more zeros in it than the most baseball players' checks. The money ends up in the wrong hands. And then we increase the quantity of checks with the theory that eventually one will get through to the needy people. Either that, or we send over some army troops so that their teenagers can play sniper with them. What does our great leader do about all of this? He goes out and buys some cigars.
What ever happened to the idea of the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave? Now its the Land of the Cheap and the Home of the Lazy. We are constantly making ourselves look like greater pricks, despite the unproven shrinking effects of the industrial toxins in the air (the national average has gone down from 6" to 5.75" baby!). We, as Americans, begrudge giving praise for a job well done, but give an act of stupidity or insanity our full attnetion. The man that saves three people from a burning building while inventing a cure for liver cnacer and building a pollution free car is placed on the 15th page of the paper right next to the Wonderword. However, the woman that tried to drown her two infant kids in a mud puddle because her shoes didn't fit her comfortably is given the front page all through her pretrial, trial, post-trial, pre-jail, jail, and appeal time, as well as the first three months of her probation. She is given not only her 15 seconds of fame, but the 15 seconds of fame that belong to everyone in the state of Rhode Island, Connecticut, and Montana. This country is full of people that believe that Elvis, Kurt Cobain, and Tupac are all alive playing poker done in Buenos Aires and that beer doesn't kill... those things... that are in...our heads.
And this is only the tip of the iceberg. We have politicians in favor of prohibition getting plastered every night with their own "Monicas". Our newest male heartthrob looks like a raped, twelve year old alter boy on crack, instead of the Titanic star that he is supposed to be. We are more concerned with who Clinton's next intern is than what Sadam has pointed at us. Hell, Clinton is more concerned about who his next intern is than what Sadam has pointed at us. And that's why cats don't fly yet.Dolomite