"1,2,3...ding...its over"
by: skull
hi, my name is Wilbur. my lovely wife Bertha and i, have been living in an aluminum box since elmers farm was auctioned off, along with all our big time dreams of becoming hog farmers. i would shoot them taxmen jus as soon as look at 'em. anyways heres what i was gonna tell you from the beginning.
lately things been strange at our trailer park. theres been a lot of rumors, ugly rumors, that have been a circulatin, on the count of old Norm across the way at lot #69. seems word has it that my lovely wife bertha has been runnin around with another fella by the name of jethro hickson...drives a rusty 1978 ford pickup with a wooden bed. aint got no teeth in his head 'cept a few thats look kinda likes raisin teeth.
well, old norm told me that these two highfalutin cheaters was seen together sharin a pork dog at the perfessional rassling match the other nite. ole berth didnt return till the wee hours of the mornin that day. i figgured sumthin was up, cause she headed right fer the crest and listerine, and that aint like ole bertha. taint no minty stuff gonna cover the smell of a filthy old cock she probly been suckin on like a corndog. any ways i figgur i best just keep what i got. but ill keep my shotgun loaded case i have a run in with our boy jethro.
meantime i gots some sheep and loose old cows that needs sexual tendin to out at cousin Billys. its gittin to be summer an that means the county fair's right around the corner.
well, thanks fer lettin me bend yer ear. you'se people at the hold sure are mighty fine!...
...cept fer that bailing pollock somethingowski.
lots of love from lot #35!
Wilbur Corn